So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
