Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
