Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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