i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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