Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
