Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
