Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He shit in the fireplace
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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