Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
