Apparently you make a good broom.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
