All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
