this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
