dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
