I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
