I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
