How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
