Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
