Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Randomize