wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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