I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
