All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
