Me too!
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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