Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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