I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
