Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Sober January is a disaster.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
