I CAN MOONWALK!
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Who wears a wallet chain?!
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
