I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
