His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
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