I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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