i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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