Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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