So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
