How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
