My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
