wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize