fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
my sisters under your porch take her home
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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