hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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