where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
well you can't waste a boner
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
