If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
NoShamevember. You game?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize