in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
