To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize