We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize