I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Randomize
