Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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