I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
