i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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