My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
