so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize