am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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