what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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