Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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