Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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