Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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