Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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