Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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