Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
