dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
