the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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