last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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