and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
