see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
