I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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