But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Randomize
