She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
