I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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