I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Is her dick bigger than yours?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
