i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Pants are for mortals
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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