i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize