im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
