I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
third nipple confirmed
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
