Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Randomize
