yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
