Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
