Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Randomize