Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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