is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
