Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
