what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
